good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
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She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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