Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
