Her vagina should come with caution tape.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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