so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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