I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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