I'm so fucking centered right now
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Randomize
