i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
