dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
