Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
