So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize