don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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