No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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