Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
