who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
