i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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