all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize