mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
