I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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