Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I touched a dick in church today
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