Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
