A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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