I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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