she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
