I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
These 27 Creepy People Did The Craziest Things To Prove Their Love
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals