I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
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