Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice

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(604): View more from British Columbia

he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?

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(703): View more from Virginia

i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is

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(541): View more from Oregon

Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(310): View more from California

I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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(502): View more from Kentucky

I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore

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(970): View more from Colorado

She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.

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(812): View more from Indiana

Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..

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(703): View more from Virginia

Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself

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