Little spoons don't ask big questions
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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