first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
