he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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