So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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