I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
even my farts smell like vagina
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
