I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
