So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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