I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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