Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
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i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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