I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
