apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
