I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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