no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
