He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
The Olympian is in my bed
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