Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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