why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
