It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize