I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
