i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
should my penis look like a turkey
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
