dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
