wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
