I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Randomize
