Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
