i permit you to call me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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