He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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