the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
