Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You made out with two different species that night
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
