i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
You smell like stripper and shame
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need to calm my uterus...
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