She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
