Non-Jews are for practice
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
