dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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