You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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