id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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