I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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