I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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