I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
