Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
