Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
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found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
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What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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