i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
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